Vol.VIII No.IV Pg.8
June 1971

Stuff About Things

Robert F. Turner

Every preacher, elder, personal worker who has tried to stir dead or dying coals into live hot saints, has met the Ive Been Baptized routine in one form or another. Our family been Church of Christers from way back! All the big - name preachers stayed at our house! I helped build the church (building) back in my home town! And so, on and on.

Someone has said, The Baptist preach the impossibility of apostasy; but we practice it. Well, its nothing for which either should be proud. Actually, the better ones background and opportunity to learn and grow, the greater is ones responsibility.

So, do not allow the humor (?) of the following poem to hide its more serious aspects.

Ticket Fer Heaven!

Well, I wuz baptized on a cold winter day, They busted thu ice and they pushed it away; And Old Brother Sloakum, thu pioneer, Thu one whuts famous fer bein queer, Wuz thu one whut put me under then, And I aint about tu do hit agin

Praise thu Lord!! I bin baptized!

Oh, I aint tu strong fer churchin ways, With thu hypocrites theyve got these days: Ill take me a nip, and a snort er two, And I may be awhoopin afore Im through;

But I got me a record, and dont you ferget, Hits good hard proof thet Ive been wet

Praise thu Lord!! I bin baptized!

When I wuz a boy in Tennessee, Some big-meetin preachers laid their hands on me; Ive set on the knee of Old Brother Tant, And heard more preachin n you can shake a stick at; Hardeman, Nichols, and Old Joe Blue, Has stayed at our house, and theyd tell you

Praise thu Lord!! Hes bin baptized!

So come snoopin around our place, Disturbin my coon-hounds, and tellin Grace Bout mendin our ways, and livin by thu rules, And bringin our kids to thu Sunday Schools; I got me a Bible, in thu trunk somewheres, And a genuwine record whuts writ in there

Praise thu Lord!! I bin baptized!

(Yep, I done it!)