Vol.XVIII No.VI Pg.8
August 1981

Stuff About Things

Robert F. Turner

These stories have been around for many years, but we will retell them, to preserve them for posterity: About the two boys out on a spree, and tempted to visit the red-light district. One said, "No, because of what my dad would do to me if he ever found out about it." The other said, "No, because of what it would do to my dad if he ever found out about it."

In barter days a man brought butter to the store, to trade for soap. The store man asked, "Are you sure this is a full pound of butter?" and was assured that it was. He went into the back room, weighed up the soap, and the farmer went home. But next day the farmer was back, complaining that the soap was two ounces short. The storekeeper explained, "I had misplaced my pound balance weight, and used your butter instead — since you assured me it was accurate."

Two men were baling hay "on halves" and when the hay was stored in barns, one man urged the other to come count the bales, to verify equal division. But the other man said, "If you want to go to Hell for a few bales of hay, I'll furnish the hay." (Now-a-days you had better count in presence of witnesses, make triplicate copies, and have the whole process notarized.)

Finally, a few old-timers were talking about their days in a line cabin on a large ranch. It seems the boss had stored a barrel of sorghum in that cabin. The cabin door would not close tightly, and while they were out working, a hog got into the cabin, knocked the bung out of the barrel, and the sorghum spilled onto the dirt floor.

The cowboys wracked their brains for a solution to the mess — until one came up with the answer. They put stepping-stones from the door to the stove, to their bunks; and left the sticky mess where they found it. No, this doesn't have the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

But it reminds me of the way some brethren treat church problems. They are often a "sticky mess," and those who try to clean them up are likely to get themselves in a mess; so, we just step over them, as though they were not there — and they get worse!!