Devoted to the Propagation and Defense of New Testament Christianity
November 29, 1951
NUMBER 30, PAGE 4-5a

Letters To The Point


"We contend that the church is composed of Christians and that what Christians do as Christians the church is doing ... " (G. C. Brewer — Gospel Advocate, Oct 25)


City Planning Commission Squeezeout Hollow, Tennessee Gentlemen:

I am deeply disturbed at the growing juvenile delinquency in our fair city. I feel that this is due in part to the fact that our young people have no suitable places of recreation. Because I am a faithful Christian, I feel some responsibility toward my community, and I want to do what I can to help. I therefore make application to the City Planning Commission for a permit to build and operate a bowling alley within the city limits. I intend to operate this establishment in such a way "as becometh Christians"; there will be no swearing, drinking, or smoking permitted on the premises. Because I am a Christian, I will have a high-class, decent, respectable establishment. And since I believe that what Christians do as Christians the church is doing, I propose to call my place the "Church of Christ Bowling Alley."

Very truly yours, B. Cordell Grewer


City Planning Commission Gnashville, Tennessee Gentlemen:

We the undersigned do hereby make application for permission to operate a filling station in the city of Gnashville. We are both faithful Christians, and because we are Christians, we propose to operate our business along strictly Christian lines. We will not only scrupulously observe the law of the land, but we intend to go even beyond that and maintain such an establishment "as becometh Christians." Profanity and obscenity will not be permitted on our premises. The usual pin-up girl calendars will have no place on our walls. And since we fervently contend that the church is composed of Christians and that what Christians do as Christians the church is doing, this will obviously be a church-operated filling station. It will simply be the church in the filling station business. We propose to call our business establishment the "Church of Christ Service Station."

Very truly yours, B. Cordell Grewer Grover Cleveland Goodfield


Miss Clementine Lovely Whodathoughtit, Tennessee My Darling Clementine:

You cannot be unaware of the tender sentiments I have entertained toward you for many months. My words I know have been poor and halting and stumbling, but the heart that beats within my bosom has grown so full that at long last I am compelled to try to put on paper what I find myself wholly incapable of speaking with the lips. My darling Clementine, I love you; I adore you; my heart cries for you, sighs for you, dies for you. Will you be mine? As you know, I am a faithful Christian—it happens I am the only one such in the town where I live. Because I am a Christian, the proposal I make to you is an honorable one and not a dishonorable one. I long for matrimony with you. If I were a man of the world, and bent only on making a conquest, this would be a proposition instead of a proposal. But no such evil thoughts are in my heart. I long for an honorable union with the girl of my dreams. I am a Christian, and every decision of my life is made as such. Do not misunderstand me, darling Clementine, I am asking you to marry the church. I firmly believe that what Christians do as Christians the church is doing. Well it is as a Christian that I make this proposal of marriage. This is a proposal from the church to you. Will you accept? Will you make full my cup of joy? Do you not think you would enjoy being married to the church here? I sign myself, Your affectionate and adoring, Benjamin Cleveland Brewpasture


Board of Higher Education State Capitol Building Nuttville, Insania Gentlemen:

I desire to make application to the Board of Higher Education for a charter to operate a school in the state of Insania. I am much distressed at the atheism, infidelity, agnosticism, and communism which seem to be so prevalent in our state colleges; and I propose to establish a school in which such influences shall not be felt. I intend to have a school in which every faculty member is a faithful Christian, and where young people can receive their training under the influence of men who will not seek to destroy their faith in Christ and the Bible. I propose that my school shall teach every branch of learning commonly found in the best colleges and universities in our fair state: art, chemistry, agriculture, dramatics, music, biology, metallurgy, electronics, journalism, physical education, sociology, literature, etc. I also intend to provide opportunity for every student who desires it to have a course of study in the Bible. It is because I am a Christian that I desire to spend my money in this venture. If I were not a Christian, I wouldn't give a hoot what might happen to our young people. But I am a Christian; every decision of my life is made as a Christian. Therefore, I propose to put my money into this worthy venture. You will understand, of course, that actually my school will be a work of the church, for I contend that the church is composed of Christians and what Christians do AS CHRISTIANS the church is doing. It is AS A CHRISTIAN that I propose to do this work; therefore, it will be "the church" operating the school.

Unfortunately we have a few "demagogues" in the church who contend that A is no part of the mission of the church to operate such a school as I propose. Our eminent and beloved brother Brewer over at Memphis, Tennessee, has signed his name in gigantic letters to a proposition denying that a school like this is a part of the work of the church. But, gentleman, I refuse to "be a crippled, creed-bound crank . . . a slave to bigots and radicals!" It is my humble contention that the church is composed of Christians and that what Christians do AS CHRISTIANS the church is doing. I therefore make this application for a charter for my school. It will be my school, but since I am a member of the church, and am acting as a Christian, it will also be the church's school. I propose to name this institution "The Church of Christ Technological and Business University." It will be located at 1318 Cracked Cranium Boulevard, Nuttville, Insania.

Very truly yours, Grover Cordell Goodbrew