Devoted to the Propagation and Defense of New Testament Christianity
December 22, 1966

Uncle Zeke's Correspondence

Your faithful nephew Delmar

Dear Uncle Zeke:

Last Sunday evening I was passin through Pea Ridge on my way home frum Wannapatecheck Holler when I seen the Pea Ridge church was having themselves a meetin. Well, I jist sidled on over thar to see what they had a brewin.

Seems they had brung in one of them citified evangelists with one of them doctors degrees to do the preachin for them. I showed him my cut laig but he said he couldn't do nothin for it. Guess he don't know a whole lot about medicine. Seems kinda funny them callin him doctor when it peers he don't know a whole lot.

I picked up one of their church bulletins and give it a good eyeballin. I's curiouser than a Callico cat to see what they had to say about their meetin. Right on the front page they had them a headline what read, "Largest Crowd in the History of Pea Ridge." The story went on to say that they was lookin for the biggest bunch of "noses" ever to set foot in their new meetin house. Funny they should be lookin for noses. I guess they figgered they would be one person for every nose in the building. Guess that does make a whole lot of sense.

Zelda Smith was there, you remember her, with her old spotted dawg. Zelda always was a little thick headed. She figgered when they wanted to count noses that jist any old nose would do. She weren't alone in that conclusion either. One old man brung three hawgs and two chickens. You know, they counted all them noses too. If it hadn't been for them animals they'd of missed their largest crowd by two noses. Seems they is more interested in noses over that than they is in souls.

You all come over and see us when you come to Turkey Run. We'll be plum hurt if we learn you were here and didn't stop by to see us. It's been nigh onto three months since we last saucered and blowed any coffee with you'uns. Come see us now.

Yours truly,