"Thou hast given a banner to them that fear thee, that it may be displayed because of truth." — (Psalm 60:4)
"Lift ye up a banner upon the high mountain, exalt the voice unto them." — (Isaiah 13:2)
Devoted To The Defense Of The Church Against All Errors And Innovations
Vol.VI No.II Pg.13
September 1943

The Preacher's Coffee

W. Curtis Porter

Occasionally various Baptist papers have published a little poem about some coffee. Sometimes this poem is published under the title of "The Preacher's Coffee," and sometimes under the title of "Methodist Coffee." Recently Ben M. Bogard published this in his paper, Orthodox Baptist Searchlight, under the latter title. He recommended that his readers clip the poem and paste it in their scrap books. The poem, as published in his paper, follows: METHODIST COFFEE

I have a pleasant story which I will tell in rhyme,

About a circuit preacher who lived in recent times;

He was a circuit rider of good John Wesley's brand And rode the finest circuit in all this blessed land.

At one of his good charges, some members, not a few, Became quite sorely troubled about the word "into." The Good Book says right plainly in Acts, in chapter eight,

"They went down into water," as Baptist people state; The preacher preached a sermon of extra zeal and might,

And to his satisfaction, he set the passage right.

"Into does not mean into, but only at, near by;

They went down to the water and got a small supply."

But near that place of worship there lived a Sister Brown,

And for her splendid cooking she'd gained a great renown;

Her yellow legged chickens, her luscious cakes and pies,

Had often made that preacher roll up his weeping eyes.

And her delicious coffee, the circuit all around,

The preacher oft admitted its like could not be found. So when he preached his sermon of extra power and length,

He loved at the Brown's table to rectify his strength. But Sister Brown was a Baptist, the stoutest in the land,

She oft reproved the Methodists for changing God's command.

She heard the preacher's sermon, and thought the subject o'er,

And asked him home to dinner as oft she'd done before.

She ground the good brown coffee, her kettle steaming hot,

She put it "at" or "near by" the famous coffee pot;

She poured Bro. Jones a cupful, I think it was no sin "Why you forgot, dear sister, to put the coffee in."

"No, no, Bro. Jones, that's coffee, I ground a good supply,

And put it at the kettle - into is at, nearby.

By logic of your sermon, I thought it rather thin,

If at,' near by,' means into,' I put the coffee in.

So if you'll strictly promise no more such stuff to teach,

Nor dodge God's plain commandments when you attempt to preach,

I'll go and make some coffee, just to a Bible dot,

And I will put the coffee into the coffee pot."

A few years ago I wrote a sequel to "The Preacher's Coffee." If you wish to paste "The Preacher's Coffee" in your scrap book, perhaps you would like the sequel to it also. So here it is

A Sequel To The Preacher's Coffee

Just then in stepped a preacher who wears a Bible name,

The simple name of Christian, of apostolic fame;

God put "into" the Bible no human name to wear,

And hence he was contented the inspired mark to bear.

Then Mrs. Brown he questioned if really she'd admit That "into" had the meaning that she had given it.

She said she would most surely, and who would dare say not;

No coffee's "in" the vessel till put "into" the pot.

Then gently spoke the preacher: "Don't censure parson Jones;

You've spoken condemnation to self in strongest tones. No need to hold tradition, such never has sufficed,

The Bible says baptism puts people `into' Christ."

"No, no," replied the Mrs., such teaching is a sin;

Our preacher gives baptism to those already 'in.' " "Well, well," then spoke this preacher, its surely gives me fun

To see this Baptist woman thrown down her Baptist

If into' has the meaning you've given it at last,

Your shot at circuit riders has gone into' a blast.

Then Philip and the eunuch went not `into' the creek, For they were in' already and had been for a week. When Christians are invited into' that heavenly clime,

They'll really not go into' - were in' it all the time.

And when the Lord will banish the wicked into' hell, They'll merely stay in' pleasures on earth they loved so well.

You thought you put the coffee into' the coffee pot,

But it was 'in' already, already boiling hot.

Now, Mrs. Brown, please promise that you'll not have the gall

To hit folks with the Bible, unless you'll take it all.

The Bible says so plainly, to which you have referred,

They went down into water,' I trust its every word;

It tells us that the righteous go into' mansions fair; It tells us that the wicked go down into' despair;

It tells us just as surely, not only once but twice,

That which is called baptism puts people into' Christ. Now take it all, dear woman, false preachers you can rout,

Or else just raise your window and throw the Bible out.