Vol.X No.IV Pg.8
June 1973

Stuff About Things

Robert F. Turner

In the summer of 1929, after a $100. contest, the city of Reno, Nev. chose its famous slogan, The Biggest Little City In The World. And if that didnt begin the trend, it certainly helped it along. Peanut Capital Sweet-Potato Capital Hand-Wrestling Capital (Petaluma, Calif., in case youre interested) and thousands of others have made their bid for fame and fortune.

In April, 73, the Austin paper reported that Bastrop, Texas, must be the Derailment Capital of the World for there had been five train derailments there since Dec. 31, 72.

I got the idea for this article when I saw a San Antonio truck bearing these words, BEST PLUMBER IN THE WORLD. It was only when I got closer and read the fine print that I realized this fellow was trying to be an honest man. Sandwiched between BEST and PLUMBER were the words, Little Greek. It makes a lot of difference.

So, I began to keep records. (Aspiring writers should note that it takes a lot of research to put out this kind of material.) Stopping for gasoline in Wilcox, Ariz., I noticed a poster for the Cinco de Mayo (5th of May) parade in a small desert community. It read, Longest Parade in the Shortest Town in the World. When I began to copy this into my note book the station boy wanted to know why. I told him I was making a collection of such; and after a few minutes of thinking that one over, he said, I think you ought to know that you are right now in the Cattle Capital of the World. Another notation.

Why do they do it? Well, bro. N.B. Hardeman used to say, He that tooteth not his own horn, the same shall I not be tooted! But crass egoism is not the universal answer. Sometimes there is justifiable pride in attainment, and the slogan writer just gets carried away with his job. Like the Texarkana bully who shouted, I can whip anybody in this town— in this county— in this state— in the state of Texas— whereupon a lanky cowboy crossed the line and flattened him. The bully later excused himself by saying, Well, I just took in too much territory. Selah!

Dont be too hard on the Capital of the World slogan writers. Maybe there is another explanation. You see, there is just a little bit of Texas in us all.