Paul's Trial Sermon
There are always some women (and men) who are more authoritative on preaching than God in heaven and the apostles on earth. A group of such members had journeyed up from Crete to hear Paul at Athens — to see whether they like him well enough to hold their summer meeting. The account of this sermon is recorded in Acts 17; this conversation was overheard on the boat carrying the Christian group back to Crete.
First Christian Lady: Oh! I never was so disappointed in my whole Christian life.
Her husband — Me, too!
Second Christian Lady: And I had heard such good reports on Paul. I guess his zeal has led him astray; Festus said he was mad.
Third Lady: Do you know how he attracted the crowd? One Athenian told me Paul went in to dispute and debate. Some called him a Babbler and a troublemaker — he stirred up the whole town.
Her husband: Woe is me; woe is me!
First Lady: Now we will never have a church in Athens; they never will forget his "fighting tactics." I never would have believed Paul was a fighter; how I was fooled!
Second Lady: I never was so miserable in all my life during his sermon; I knew all those Athenians were watching us. They will think all members of the church of Christ are narrow-minded like Paul. I apologized to some of their leaders after the sermon.
Third Lady: My blood pressure nearly exploded when Paul called them by name. He should have known better than that. I told him before the service to preach in generalities and principles — not in particulars and facts. This was such a wonderful opportunity; but Paul was too stubborn to listen to me, though.
Her Husband: How I wished he would have listened to you; I knew you had called him over to the hotel to advise him.
Second Lady: I am in shock. Did you hear Paul when he said "Unknown God." Then he said they were ignorant. Doesn't he know preaching like that only offends and brings about anger?
First Lady: Then he told them that their gods were false — that Jehovah alone was God. How I squirmed; I can just imagine what they thought.
Third Lady: He preached just to their error; why didn't he commend their zeal and pat them on the back? You have to save people by degrees. Did you hear them sneer? He drove them off; they never will come back again. One sermon like that can do so much harm!
Her husband: Amen, Amen!
First Lady: Doesn't Paul know you must use wisdom? People don't want the truth unless it's salted down!
Third Lady: But the climax of all was when he demanded repentance. Those Epicureans and Stoics are sincere; it's not for us to say they can't be saved.
Second Lady: Then he threatened them with the resurrection and judgment. I could just see their faces turning redder and redder.
Third Lady: I could have overlooked this if Paul were just starting out, but he has been preaching for years. It's sad also; I hear Timothy and Silas preach just like him — and Timothy used to be so sweet and kind.
Her husband: And he never cracked a smile; in fact he was all wrought up!
First Lady: If he keeps up like this Paul can't preach for a church in the brotherhood! He's too hard; he rides too many hobbies! He sticks too close to the letter of the law.
Second Lady: My husband is an elder! I'll see that Paul never preaches in Crete.
Third Lady: He would have split the church wide open. We still have some members unconverted on the Trinity and immortality. We have stopped the truth for the sake of peace!
First Lady: Oh! How lucky we found out!
Her husband: Amen, Amen!
Second Lady: How pleasant it will be to hear our preacher, brother Backslapper next Sunday. He is so lovable and kind in the pulpit; our next door neighbors have been attending services for years, and he has never offended them nor hurt their feelings.
Third Lady: Thank God for such preachers!
Her husband: Amen, Amen!