Uncle Floyd's Letter
Dear Brother Editor:
Other day I was down at Phil Carson's general store when I overheard some of the boys who were standin around the stove swappin talk. These fellers ain't the most educated in the world, but in their own way they show forth bright spots. Phil had a poster hangin on the wall advertisin a revival at one of the big denominations over at the county seat. The preacher's name was in large black type, "Rev. Jeremiah Waters, D. D." The boys knowed what that "Rev." meant, but they was speculatin on what D. D. stood for.
Monty Montgomery said he would venture to guess it meant Dollar Digger. He surmised that raising money would be one of the main features at the meetin. Monty added that he quit his church years ago 'cause he got tired of bein hounded fer money.
Sam Greenfield guessed it meant Dressy Dude. The fellers all agreed that the preacher is general the most dressed up person in the whole crowd. Ole Preacher Wilson south of town wears his tie when he's out plowin. Don't know if that impresses his mule or not.
Another one of the boys wondered if it might not mean Draft Dodger. He wagered that a lot of cowards started preachin during the war to keep out of the army. They found that preachin was a easy livin, so they stayed with it.
Jetter Uphill said it ought to stand fer Demon Driver on account of most preachers drivin like they had a demon on their tales.
Somebody mentioned the possibility that D. D. stood fer Dry Delivery. Other possible meanings was Devourer of Dinners, Deliverer of the Damned, Doctrine Doctor, Devil's Deacon, Day Dreamer, and Dirt Dauber.
You can see. Brother Editor, that it's real educational to hang around Carson's store.
Serious like, I don't see why preachers have any more business paradin their degrees on the back side of their name than they do titles on the front side. We know the Lord don't want any of us wearing no religious titles since he said so in Matt. 23. And sometimes these academical degrees have about as much to do with one's qualifications to preach as the number of cylinders in his car would have. There's a idea: "John Smith, D. D., 6 Cyl." or "Frank Jones, LL. D., 8 Cyl." Sounds impressive, don't it?
Well, we can be thankful that there are still plain vanilla preachers who don't fall fer this special flavorin. And they are the men who are preachin the ole Jerusalem gospel.
Yours truly, Uncle Floyd